We were sat over a late-night cuppa after his shift when he said it: “There are a few things you should never order in any restaurant.” Not his, not a chain, not even the posh ones. I laughed, thinking it was some insider joke — but his face didn’t budge. He wasn’t being dramatic, he was being de@d serious. The first on his list? “Specials” that aren’t tied to a clear seasonal ingredient. Sounds harmless, but in the trade, that often means “stuff we need to shift before it goes off.” The sauce masks the age, the garnish distracts you — and by the time you’ve finished, you’ve basically paid top dollar for yesterday’s leftovers. Then there’s shellfish in places nowhere near the coast. Unless you know they’ve got daily deliveries and spotless storage, you’re gambling with your gut. “Most punters don’t realise,” he said, “but the wrong handling turns a fancy seafood platter into a food poisoпing time bomb.” He also warned me about ice in drinks at certain bars. “If the ice machine isn’t cleaned properly — and in busy spots, it often isn’t — you’re basically sipping on a chilled petri dish.” Suddenly, that summer cocktail didn’t feel so Instagrammable. And the shocker? Chicken dishes in buffets or all-you-can-eats. It’s the perfect breeding ground for bacteria if temps aren’t bang-on, and trust me — in high-volume places, they’re not checking every tray like they should. “You won’t see it,” he said, “but you’ll feel it 12 hours later.” Here’s the quick takeaway for peace of mind: next time you eat out, ask yourself one question — how quickly is this moving off the kitchen pass? If the answer’s “not very,” leave it on the menu. You’ll save yourself a fortune in wasted meals… and maybe a night hugging the loo.
